The Thin Line Between A Resume And A Resignation Letter

As expected, after college, you find yourself immersed in creating the most catchy resume to date. Then, you will be among those bunch of people waiting outside the most important room in all the buildings you have visited while mumbling a mix of prayers and well-practiced answers for that dreaded initial or final interview with the big boss. And, as you victoriously strut out with a job offer and pre-employment requirements in hand, you ask yourself, what's next?

You didn't see it coming. The stress, the overbearing boss/supervisor/manager, the backbiting and envious office mates. You tend to come late or worse be absent without valid reason. You constantly whine about how you are not thoroughly compensated despite the fact that you have given your best. You started to hate overtimes and lately, come to love under time. You bitch around the office; you even yell at the guard or at the janitor and you're not even sorry for that inexcusable behavior. You bring work at home; you snap at your wife's/husband's pleasant greetings and you slammed the door behind you 'cause you don't want to hear your family's endless chatter.

You realized something's not right. You wanted out. The goals that you have carefully set on your first day at work are not being met. The dreams and endeavors you had in mind seem to wither away. Your health and your interpersonal relationships are affected in a negative way. You lost all the determination and  focus.

Then there's the solution. History repeats itself indeed. You decided to quit your job and reconstruct your resume. You nervously line up along with other applicants to get that post. You flash that winning smile 'cause you won the competition against unemployment.

The vicious cycle starts again....

But, did you even bother to evaluate the root cause? You are unhappy at work, but why? That is the question that kept on pestering me for the past few months. I was sick and  tired of the atmosphere around the office yet I am not ready to face the possibility of applying for a new job. Luckily, I was given the  opportunity to take some time off; a time to reconsider everything and settle the raging emotions deep within me.

What I discovered is that I tend to give in to the negative vibes. I let myself be surrounded with pessimists hence I became one. I forgot to celebrate the little victories. I put too much emphasis on the things that are not worth my time, energy and effort. I lost the urge to smile and laugh on the silly things. I forgot that the world is made of two opposing things and I, unanimously, took the slippery road towards bitterness and emptiness. I became a coward. 

There's a silver lining behind the clouds. This saying suddenly popped into my mind while I was on my "soul searching" vacation. Indeed, I shook off the outer shell that is starting to form around me. I told myself that from now on, cowardliness will be out of your vocabulary. If something is threatening your comfort zone, the best defense mechanism is to to step up instead of running away. And so, I return to work with my renewed self.

All along, the answer is positivism. Find a way to deflect negative thoughts. Smile a lot; it does not only paint a beautiful image of you but also exercises the muscles in your face. Accept that mistakes are part of growing up; when you receive a memo at work, take it as an opportunity to improve oneself rather than throwing it on the trash bin.When people say nasty things behind your back, feel good about yourself; that would only mean they are insecure of you. If you think that you are not well compensated, think of others who do not even have a decent job.


I remember that line in the movie Black Swan, the mentor of the heroine told her this : The only thing standing in between is you. With that line in mind, I told myself, it's just a matter of attitude and  perspective. So if you are caught in between updating your resume and creating a resignation letter, think it over. Is it really the situation and circumstances or is it really you that's getting in the way? 

My Never-Ending Journey With Cupid

I have always been a sucker when it comes to this particular topic yet  I continue to hope for the best and  expect the worst. Many times I cried my heart out and bruised it in the process yet I still remain optimistic as ever. But when does one start to love again, get hurt again and then love again?



I have known him for some time and we were hailed as childhood sweethearts because even at a tender age of eight, most of our neighbors would sweat their butts out to make sure that we pair up in every boring kiddie party. I find it ridiculous to the point that I start hating him because he seem to enjoy all the attention. He would give me that just-go-with-it smile of his which pisses me all the more. But I was eight; what would I know about crushes?? Then I entered the early stages of adolescence. What started as mere aversion eventually blossomed into some kind of mild infatuation; he began to stare at me like he had never set his eyes on me before, my heart sometimes skip a beat, then there's this constant impulse to say Hi to him yet never managed to do it 'cause of the fear of rejection, his friends' and my friends' testimonials that he's into me. It was like that for almost three years and I thought he would still be chicken to say what he felt towards me. I almost gave up but then he finally said the magic words. I said yes to him in less than a month's courtship and since I was fifteen we made a deal that our relationship would be secret in fear of my parents knowing. Since he was my first boyfriend, I expected everything that I have read and have seen on TV and the movies will happen; I wanted it to be perfect. Because of my constant need for perfection, we started to have fights, we split and make up then back to square one. I would deny him as my BF in front of my friends and he would hang out with his friends and tend to forget our monthsary. Since both of us were becoming a pain on the ass and we were on the verge of blaming one another, I decided to say goodbye to him for the last time. I was crying, he was crying but my decision was irrevocable. After the breakup, I learned one important lesson to get by when it comes to love: Never strive for a perfect relationship.


High school went by like a breeze and I started to move on without my first love. I was enjoying my single and carefree life in college when this guy started following me. Again, friends are hinting that he's gonna step up and ask me to empty my heart out for him. Afraid of history repeating itself, I let him do his subtle ways. We have this mutual relationship going on: he would sit beside me every freaking class, walk with me towards my dormitory, visit me even if it's not a visiting day, holds my hand and touches my hair when my first boyfriend never had a chance to do it, draws  something nice for me, and  we do paper talk ( exchange of short letters to one another even if we are beside each other). I was so damn confident that we will become a couple because of the things he showed me. But my impulsiveness blow it all away. I couldn't wait any longer for him to know that we are on the same page so i finally blurted it out. I knew he was taken by surprise that it left him tongue tied. Furious by his silent reaction, I left him without a word. I was so mad that I cried the whole night, ignored all his text messages and  calls and managed to avoid him at school the next day. Then before the week is up, he came up to me,  gave me that beautiful smile, put his arms around me and asked me if its okay with me if he will court the other girl in my dormitory. The nerve!!! I was like, "Can somebody shoot me in the head right now???!!" Yet I managed to tell him that it's the most brilliant idea and I would be willing to become the sacrificial lamb just for him to get a slim chance for the girl's heart. Cool, huh? But I started to build walls around me: I would ignore him and all his nonsense babble to the point that I adopted Sarcasm as my middle name. I would kill his buzz, criticize almost everything that he does. He even asked my friends what the hell is going on and when they say that it was his fault, he would give them a defensive answer: He intend to court me but since he's afraid to ruin our perfect friendship, he settled on courting another girl.  Everyday, for one year and a half, I paint a smiling face whenever he and my friends are around just to let them know that I am not affected but the truth is, my pillows have suffered enough tears. Good thing   I haven't heard A Fine Frenzy's Almost Lovers, I would have drowned myself to death. Funny thing is, though we never ended up as an item, I saw so many unlovable things about him; things that I failed to see when I was still on Cloud Nine. Things which made me realize these: Do not let your emotions get in the way of your thinking. Never expect too much. Be patient, don't be hasty for if it's meant for you, it will come to you according to its own pace.



I was already holding up; I found a way to heal my shattered heart from the unrequited love. Then, one of my best girl friends gave my cellphone number to her brother and he  started sending me cheesy text messages. I didn't give it much thought 'cause I never believed in long distance relationship. Moreover, I find courtship through sms as lame and  cheap yet he was so persistent. I thought to myself, "Okay, I'm gonna give him six months only and if after that we're still together then I'm take him seriously." What started as a joke to get past his persistent knock into my heart became a serious relationship which lasted for four years and  nine months. I was a 110% that he is the One. We share the same interests,  we despise each other because of the little things that we can't seem to agree, we talked endlessly on the phone and we do marathon sms, I was very close to his sister, his cousins already knew me as well as his parents, my whole family likes him, he spent one Christmas and New Years Eve at my place, he has my one picture-album-worth of snapshots and I have his clothes that I used as a pajama. He became my comfort zone; we became so outrageously familiar with each other that I thought I'd die if I lose him and vice versa. But we didn't see it coming. Never did I thought that his family duties will break us apart. He became so busy that he doesn't have the time to say even a single Hi to me. I became obnoxiously demanding which led me to say some not so unpleasant things to him. I begged for him to never let go and that I will still hold on to the promise that I will forever stay with him no matter what happens. I asked help from all my friends, his sister (which is by the way so brokenhearted when it was over) and even his cousin to talk him out and make him come to his senses. Until now, I couldn't accept the lame excuse that he just doesn't have the time for me. I waited for what seemed like forever, hoping that he will realize how he missed and loved me and that he will make it up to me. But all my efforts were in vain; he completely shut me out of his life. He changed his phone number and never accepted my friend request on a social networking site. I became a hopeless case.  A million tears were shed, my heart died and I lost myself.  He became my one great love and one great heartache (so far!). I am not yet halfway on picking up the missing pieces of myself but I have found valuable things to ponder on: That no matter how familiar you are with each other, it doesn't mean that he or she is the One, that promises are just things that people say to make you believe, that you need to love yourself first before you love others, that sometimes it better to end something and be done with it rather than stay and be miserable for the rest of your life.



As I am writing this, Lady Antebellum's One Day You Will is slowly fading out while another song of theirs entitled Ready To Love Again is slowly filling the silence of dawn. I can't help but smile and cry at the same time. Cupid seems to enjoy this love game and find my luckless romance very amusing. Yes,  the wound is still there and God knows when it will be healed. For sure, it will leave unwanted scars which will become a constant reminder of what used to be. One friend told me that in order to fully move on, I must dwell on the good memories rather than the sad ones.  But how can you do it if those memories will only bring you tears? Would it be better if you hate the person? But hatred will never give you inner peace, right? Must you continue to love the person despite it all? As for me, I don't know. I think he will forever have a place in my heart. Time has been my friend since I was fifteen and I'm sure it will still be my friend for always.

I know that one day, someone will come to me and make me believe the one thing that I have doubted all along.

Crazy little thing called...

love.. cant be  seen, smelt or touched yet a powerful force. breaks even the hardest heart and brings one down to his knees. so powerful it could heal wounds but also destroys one’s life. it can paint a smile on someone’s face and at the same time  causes one to shed painful tears.  how can such an intangible thing seem to control the opposing forces in this universe?

love.. have you ever felt love that it  surpasses all that you have ever needed and  desired for in this life? something that for the  first time, taking in air ain’t enough to keep you alive. something that all those long held beliefs seem to fade away. something that awakens all senses you’ve never known existed until then. something that drives you to become a person capable of anything. something that makes the impossible and  unthinkable concepts vanish in an instant.

love.. no one in this world will ever start and cease to exist without carrying it in their very core. the pieces of life’s puzzle will ever be completed without it. whether its boon or bane, its very existence will continue to infinity. it may come in different ways and  forms. it’s the ultimate gift given by the One  who is extremely capable of showing what it is.

so love to the fullest until you have reached the point that your heart and mind can no longer contain it that you need to spill some of it. love yourself and other people that make you both miserable and  happy.

yes, you must and need to love LOVE.  =)

Being a true leader

Many notable people in the history of man have set fine examples of how to led people not only to victory and success but also on the betterment of oneself. Alexander the Great, Napoleon Bonaparte, Julius Ceasar, Cleopatra and other people in the field of battle strategy did not only executed brilliant strategies to win a war but also to conquer. But what really makes one an effective leader?

To become a leader, one must know how to follow simple rules. One must allow himself to become a follower. One must know how to relate to others and also think of the welfare of others. One must always think that the top priority should be the good of many.

Being a leader entails a lot of responsibility. But it doesnt mean that he should only keep it to himself. The principle of division of labor was created to make work done easier as well as give each member of a team an oppurtunity to enhance and hone their skills. A leader should not only give out commands and orders but should also learn how to develop his members on how to improve oneself. Moreover, he should also practice the art of acknowledging and appreciating the little successes brought about by each team member.

A leader must know when to get serious and when to have fun. As what they say, all work and  no play makes one a dull person..

Which is which??

The world is really confusing. Sometimes they say follow your heart but then they will say use your head.  The truth will set you free but sometimes it pays to lies to save someone. If you really love someone you need to set them free but we also need to fight for it, right?

Hmmm.. I think there are conflicting issues in this world. But for what? To create chaos? Or maintain balance?

Like we know how brilliant the sun, the moon, the stars even the comets are but we will never be able to appreciate  their luminous beauty without the darkness. We would not long for the warmth if we haven’t experience the cold. We will not be able to find true happiness if we haven’t felt deep sadness. Like we will not fight for freedom if we haven’t  tasted tyranny. We will not acquire true wisdom if we don’t have a blank slate to start on. We wouldn’t have felt anything if there were no opposing forces deep within.

But no matter what the white or dark angel says, it’s really up to us. Which is which? Well, after all, God gave us the wisdom to choose what we want.

t'was frightening yet fun!!

Going home for the holy week was a snap decision. What triggered me to pack my bags is the thought that I'm gonna be alone for almost 4 days  in our apartment. On top of that, the whole place gives me the creeps. So, along with Karen Grace and her brother Kenneth, we boarded one of the ships of Southern Pacific shipping lines bound for  Bato, Leyte.

I was thinking that the  ship was a huge sea vessel, especially that there were many passengers eager to come home for the long vacation from work. But to my surprise, it was small, like its size could be compared to the fast crafts i have ridden in the past. There were only two decks, same as the fast crafts yet it's so open like the ones in big ships. I started to have fears that I wouldn't go home safely or it would be dark already by the time I reach home.

True enough, as the ship started its voyage, the whole thing begun to swing, making us a little bit dizzy. We tried to convince ourselves that it's gonna be alright and it's just natural for the ship to move that way because of its size, the  waves and  the  wind. I took a nap 'cause i just got out from my shift and my eyes are drooping. I was about to enter the REM part of my sleep when the ship swung with a force and I suddenly woke up with panic  in my face! What happened was a fast craft nearly missed the ship! And since it passed through us really fast that it left big waves on its wake, making our voyage a bit frightening.

After more than 6 hours of  travelling ( Karen Grace took note of the time), we finally arrived at the port of Bato, Leyte. Since its almost dusk, passengers are very anxious to go home. Everybody started to file into the other side of the ship where the exit is located. What is really funny is that the  ship started to tilt again, causing  one  the crews to shout at  the  passengers to stay back. Karen and I  laughed at the mere thought of being thrown in to the water where the pier is only meters away and so many people watching.

When our two feet finally toughed solid ground,  we were greeted by Karen Grace's family, I decided to hop into a van or bus in Bato but alas, there were none so they decided to drop me off in Hilongos instead. I was the first passenger of one of the vans parked in there which gave me a couple of minutes to waste in waiting for other passengers. But, almost an hour has passed and not even shadows of the phantom passengers emerged. I started calling my Mom to while away the time and let her know of my sorry situation. Then I heard the conversation between the driver and his boss, giving me hints that the van  will never move an inch.  Panic and frustration seem to swept over me especially that no bus will pass on that road that I'm heading on  because of the Holy Week. I found myself dragging my heavy bags out of the van as the driver delivered the bad news that he will not drive me home.  I decided  to ask my mom to come fetch me when a few minutes later a miracle happened. A van out of nowhere arrived with passengers headed to Baybay, my beloved hometown. The hunger and sleepiness I felt  a while back was now replaced with sheer joy and relief as the van raced its way home.

The whole adventure gave me an important lesson: not to lose hope and always have faith that things are going to be alright. Panicking and getting edgy will not help you have a clear head on how to deal with the situation. Also, always be alert so that in cases of emergency, you will be the first to land on the safe zone.    :))

observations...

Lately, i found myself caught in a maelstrom of events and issues that left me confused. Like i wanna say, "Wtf! What happened?!" As much as I can, I avoid getting involved, but the more I try, the more I sink myself into it. What was it that they usually say? There are certain things that we don't have control? Crap! My mind is screaming, "Shut the f*ck up!!"


The scariest thing in getting close and personal is all your preconceived notions about a person might go in a wrong way. Sure, we'd do anything and everything for those who mattered to us. But isn't it frustrating to know that they enjoyed your company because it covers up their darkest secrets? Like they are using you as a ruse to deflect all gossips to a different direction. Anybody would be glad to jump into a pit full of snakes for the sake of a friend's salvation as long as we are given a heads up.

They say first impressions don't last but the saying, looks can be deceiving still hold true. The first impact of a beautiful face on us is that it will never do anything evil. Prove me wrong but that is the first thing that we can think of. But the moment you see beyond the pretty smiles and the sparkling eyes, there hides the unfathomable mixture of lies and truths.


Sweet talk- one of the most powerful tool for us to bend into other people's rules. Don't you find it annoying to find out that you have give in to their wishes like its as if they are doing you a favor instead of the other way around? Like your conscience has grown ten times that you have no option but to nod, smile and say yes. How pathetic can we get?


Sometimes I prefer to be given the hard blow of honesty than the carress of a lie. But it still contradicts the line " What you don't know won't hurt you.."


Argh! Everything is all mixed up in a disastrous way.